late night news

In news today....

US Veep Dick Cheney invaded a site in Iraq after reviewing its satellite images and mistaking it for the site of WMD.
In an unrelated story, Dick Cheney blew up a man's face with a shot-gun mistaking him for a bird.

US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfield invited the UN mission to experience first hand, the environment at Guantanamo Bay after he came under fire for some newly published photographs of prisoner abuse.
In an unrelated story, Dick Cheney reiterated that the shooting of his friend was an accident, and invited the journalists making merry on this story, to his ranch for the next hunting expedition and see for themselves that it really was an accident (or not).

US President Bush today defended the bid by an UAE company to take over the operations of major US sea ports and threatened a veto to push the deal amid biparitsan backlash at the deal.
In an unrelated story, Dick Cheney defended gun use and to prove his point, threatened to use his Uzi the next time he goes hunting.

--Well, couldn't help splashing my hands in the ongoing Cheney laundering

dodging a Quicky*

It's not what you think!

So I went to this bookstore to brush up my skills -the ones that went dormant- for an upcoming interview. (Let's not talk about the skills I never had.) I picked up a book that seemed with content helpful to me from an isle labelled 'Database' and made my way to the place lined with single sofas. More often than not people opt for comfy seats, which became obvious as I saw that all of them were filled.

So I moved my eyes towards a few rugged wooden chairs and tables, each of which seats 2. All of the tables were fully occupied except two which had only a single person each. I started towards the one with a pretty brunette donned in green top and engrossed, probably, in writing a term paper. As it was crucial that I get some work done, I immediately began battling my male instincts. Two revolutions around the 'Travel' aisle and a minute later I moved towards the other table, the one occupied by an African American male in his 30s.

As I was halfway to the table, he left, leaving the whole table to me, momentarily. I threw my black coat over the arm of the chair and absorbed the chill off the glass window next to it as the giggling of the teenagers sitting on the floor a few paces away continued. As I pulled the chair and sat myself, I was greeted with a grin by another desi, who did the same.

A courteous hey-what's-up-and-if-you-answer-me-see-if-I-care nod from me led him to begin the small talk. I would realize later that I had nothing to do with the initiation of the chat. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't mind a little banter. Today was different. Time was of essence.

A typical first time desi questions followed. "Where are you from in India?", "What's your name?", "What do you do?", not necessarily in that order. I complied and shot the same questions back. Not surprisingly, he turned out to be a 'Gulti' (Andhra Pradesh-ian). Since I have so many of Gulti friends, I know that in this particular area, other than being Gultis, they come with some common denominations - intelligent and many. (Someone is going- "Look a Gujju is talking about 'many' :))

It took me a few tenths of a second (that's how much reaction time you have when you are fielding in slips/gully/point) to realize where this was going after he mentioned that he and his wife ran a 'business'. And it doesn't take much to figure out that he wanted to entice me into his business. The business with the design of a pyramid (such as Quick*), where, the higher your level in the pyramid, the more you feed off the lower level members who have become directly or indirectly a member because of you.

In all fairness to the people involved in this business, it takes a lot of endeavor to scale that pyramid. More importantly it takes uncanny ability to absorb rejections which make a major part of the number of approaches. In fact, I have a couple of friends, who have climbed the ladder in such a business and now are making a lot of bucks but the first few years, according to them teaches you a lot.But there are people out there, who are not cut out to market or in my case, take rejection in stride or plan ahead of buying stuff.

But coming back to the events, he then asked me for my phone number, you know, to get in touch etc. I made a swift move and gave him office phone, from where I would be unreachable in a week. Because he was such an intelligent fellow he asked me whether it was my cell number and I reluctantly said "Yes". Lying is something that puts unnecessary burden on self. But at the end I think I dodged the Quicky*.

So all I want to say, after so much of rambling is that if you see (allow me to embellish) a smart and handsome, desi guy like me, holding a book and about to start reading, in a bookstore, please don't bother. It is neither the place and in most probability, nor the time. It will result, at the most, in a slog.

the unending quest

So let's figure this out, shall we!

"Figure what out?", you say. Let's figure out what are we doing here. A few would say that they know why they are here or have an inkling at least, others would say that they have no idea and the rest just don't care.

But who are we kidding? Everyone's here for self contentment. Dreams, ambitions and desires are just different ways to motivate and achieve it.
Ambitions to conquer the world, dreams to float in money, desires for spiritual acutalization or ownership are just a few examples. (Note that these are the paths to contentment but not necessarily those that will lead to it).
But pretty much everything falls into these categories.

Those who live for others find satisfaction in doing so. Same for those who die for others and same for who live for themselves. Everyone's loooking to get paid. With what? - that differs from person to person. Those who are forced to follow a different route are also looking for a payment. Those who have received it start looking for another one. And the cycle goes on.

In the course of history, which has been nothing but a quest, it is safe to assume that there are no pains or pleasures that have been felt by some which have not already been felt by others. There has been and will be a steady stream of friends and backstabbers, wars and ceasefires, loves and betrayals, retaliations and quiet fadings, ecstasies and rapid descents, regrets and nonchalances and so on.

So why does each person has to start from scratch to understand it and spend the whole life with varying degrees of success? Now to ask this very same question, the kid who was born yesterday will take another quarter of a century. But she will probably conclude where I would today. And she'll have no head start either.

So what is exactly that each one of us is doing here? (other than trying to make it or make it big or just taking it as it comes)
Sure we have found new places, laws of physics, better understanding of human culture and behavior and a lot more. But isn't it only logical in a quest to stumble upon the unknown?

On a broader scale, we are just re-living the lives which have already been lived by others, albeit in parts. Everything is only a new permutaion or a combination of what has been already out there. Only this time we have a name for it. It's called a happy life or a rotten life or a life of giving or a life full of achievements or whatever. No matter how someone's life was spent, it has been lived before, much of which, most of us can't understand.

What people don't understand and cannot foretell, they call it destiny and attribute it to 'God'.
What they do understand, they call it science and they are ready to show a proof for it.
While science questions 'God', it cannot eliminate this existence due to lack of proof. Although there is no proof to support the existence to begin with, the cause and effect relationship tells science that if this world exist, there has to be something that created it. Whether this creator (if exists) still controls its creation and its flora and fauna is debatable and out of scope of this writing (and my understanding).

This universe might have been a nerd's wildest creation that got out of hand, (seeing the state of this world) or it was just another of several programs that was abandoned because the funds ran out because the marketing gave it a thumbs down or it could be the only and the most wonderful creation that the community of the creator still cherishes. The universe could have been created by big bang or a small bang and the creatures evolved or suddenly appeared one fine day.

But it all comes back to the chicken and egg problem. One cannot have existed without the other, i.e. the world has to have something that created it and that creator has to have its own creator.

And those who couldn't figure out the chicken and egg problem, gave up on it and went to solve who/what created the world problem, the answer to which by the way, some of us already think they know. In either case, it still doesn't answer the question of our existence other than individual self-satisfaction.

So I'm back to square one. Exactly where all of us have been after centuries. It's a cycle. Those who think that they have found the beginning or end of the cycle are wrong because a cycle doesn't have any. Some would say it isn't even a cycle but this probably has been argued before during our existence. And we are doing it again. So it's a cycle.

So you see where I'm going with this? Probably not. But that's okay because neither do I. And logically speaking I wasn't supposed to know where I'm going because that's how this whole thing started in the first place.

valentine's day quote

Khalil Gibran said:

"But let there be spaces in your togetherness and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love: let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls."

I say:

"Touché Khalil! Touché!"

the doosra: a 'schatz' and an ersatz

I've decided that henceforth all slogs related to cricket will be under the title - 'the doosra'.

India seem to have struck/acquired schatz (treasure/darling) with the new wicket-keeper, Mahendra Singh Dhoni. Ironically, it is the batting prowess that makes him stand out and somewhat unfortunately not so much his wicket-keeping. With improvement in his keeping, the find will be total. A little more than a year's cricket under his stats has only indicated why he has become so indispensable and such an invincible weapon in India's repertoire. A disguised forceful punch in the covers has now become a trademark shot in his quiver, along with some unorthodox plays. But what separates him is his abilities to assess the situation and making shot selections. Notwithstanding his inelegant stroke play, India has reasons to believe that if he continues to show his effectiveness, Parthiv Patel can very well gray his hair on the sidelines.

Contrastingly juxtaposed is the young gun Gautam Gambhir, an ersatz opener, who has failed to show ongoing promise despite some few and far between initial flairs. What he lacks in experience is only magnified in his inconfidence and tentative approach to the moving delivery, which only points to a short lived career. As the opening slot is the only undecided position, it becomes tantamount to the team's success that the opener can negotiate the initial and early movement offered by the ball. In light of India's plan for the World Cup in 2007, and only a year left to experiment, it calls for giving an opportunity to Wasim Jaffer and whoever else might be there to grab the opener's slot in the team, i.e. moving on and away from Gambhir.

Doesn't matter!

Non-cricketers please disperse to the next blog.

So what does it take to become a cricketer? Not much, I guess. When you come into this world just make sure that the country you're born in is India. Indian and male and not liking cricket?! That's an endangered spieces but certainly not worth saving!

It doesn't matter if you've played-
in your own verandah where getting a hat-trick is no less difficult, or
in front of your neighbors' broken-as-a-result-of-lofted-cover-drive-and-you-had-to-pay-for-it glass window, or
in open 'maidans' where you share your run up area, at the same time, with another bowler from a different on going match, or
on the road, dodging the to-and-fro traffic as you try to concentrate on your cricket, or
in your school games, feilding at fine-leg, because the only similarity between you and Jonty Rhodes is that you both suffer from epilepsy, or
exploding on the Ranji trophy scene but never to make it on the Indian side or
at Lords getting initiated in the big league while sweating at the short-leg as Flintoff thrashes his bat.

Doesn't matter.

And it doesn't matter if it's -
a plastic ball which skids in the parking lot where you play because it's raining outside, or
a rubber ball which bounces more than required (can't figure out how Ganguly got through 'gali' cricket with such a ball), or
a hard tennis ball which becomes a lot quicker when wet, or
the real red cherry, which is more visible than any other ball and still the hardest to connect, thrash, catch, grab, grip, swing, skid, bounce and aim depending on your confidence, pitch and weather conditions.

Doesn't matter.

And it doesn't matter if you've felt -
burdened because you couldn't hold your strike and lost for a run with 3 overs to go, or
ecstatic after getting the batsman to make the mistake you wanted him to make, or
proud when you got under the opposition's skin forcing him to blunder, or
perfect when you found the gap that made the sweeper cover and long off converge, a moment before the ball touched the rope, or
stupid not to have warmed up only to stretch your hamstring and miss 3 games in a row.

Doesn't matter.

If you've have experienced any of the above, need I say more!!

potlucks and guinea pigs

She was high on confidence after her recent success in the realms of culinary skills. An art, rather. Or so she thought! Now that she had got a chance to put her art at work at the next valentine potluck, she was going to make them lick their fingers.

Today was the big day, she thought as she stirred the batter and rubbed her hands on the month old filthy dark apron. She herself had chosen the apron - a checkered, dark colored one, designed with curves instead of corners. Its beauty was that it never looked dirty. "Amazing choice!" she complimented herself.

A pinch of cinnamon, followed by a handful of cilantro went flying into the white batter from her small and creasy hand. She already had the oil come to a crackling boil with some finely chopped scallions and thick paste of garlic browning inside the pan. It was pretty warm inside, she mused, a stark contrast to the climate outside which was a calling for skiers. And as she finished her thought, a drop or two came dribbling down her inquiring forehead and disappeared into the foray of spinach resting on the cutting board -another dark beauty- albeit, unbeknownst to the rising chef.

Cold was so annoying she gathered while she tended a zillionth time to her ailing nose with a tissue and her wands involuntarily wandered for a quiet rub on the apron . She was missing something. She wondered what. "Ah! ", she went when she saw the missing piece of the puzzle - salt - even as she missed to wash her hands.

She stood admiring the final outcome - a two-hour of exacting work mixed with some well-weighted ingredients and more. "Everyone's gonna love it!", she exclaimed as she put down the spoon back into the beautifully decorated dish after tasting.

And she was right! She would win the 'Healthiest Dish' award to prove it.

" ... 'Do I feel lucky?' - punk!"

So here I'm in Virginia with Pennsylvania license plates. Seems like while emissions and safety inspections are still valid, my registration has expired. That puts me in ticket-able status, if caught. Now to register in Va, I need the title of the vehicle, which obviously would go missing at the helm of all the excitement. Without it I can't register my vehicle in Va. But before that I need to have valid Va emissions and safety. Now since my car is not in registered status I can't take it out to get emissions done.

Workaround - renew my registration in Pa. But what do you know! The Pa DMV website is down. Wait, it keeps getting better. All my friends who are not in Va are able to access it. For some sinister reason, I can't. But of course they have phone numbers. It seems they have one toll free number, which by the way can not be used to call from outside Pa. And it took some time to figure that one out. So I toil to find the other number - the one which can be used from outside Pa. After several engange tones I finally connect and crawl through the automated menu and finally reach an option to talk to someone. Interestingly, it hungs up on me.

So now I need a duplicate title. Need to fill out a form, which I asked Sid to mail it to me after I made him surf through the Pa DMV website since it is out of bounds for me. I find that apart from all the info it requires, it needs to be notarized and has to be mailed. Can't fax it. Once it reaches them in a few days, they will take 5-7 days to process and another week to sent it back. BUT!!! They can't sent it to my Va address. It has to go to the Pa address. Over and above that, my car insurance is expiring next week.

Not to mention, I'm going to India in 3 weeks and need to sub-lease my apartment or suffer overhead, go the health club and argue with them not to charge me for my absence or get refund. Well, it's just a beginning.

It feels like Dirty Harry is standing on top of my lungs and whispering "The question you've to ask yourself is -'Do I feel lucky?'- punk!"

I is always capital!

For the record, people are fickle. They don't know what they are talking about. (Sometimes that would apply to me too, but not this time.)

The cricketing world is not void of prodigies. Most of them have to exhume their talent and match their disciplined endeavors to make their mark on the international arena. A few however, are natural born domineers who have decimated the oppositions by sheer talent. Tendulkar is one of those few. What makes them so lethal is that a slump sends them finding their rhythm, rather than a glitch in their talent. So writing them off ,even after, say 15 years of cricket can only be considered a hasty conclusion.

Hanif Mohammad seems to accede with me on Tendulkar's abilities. But this column of his, has made me believe that he isn't ready to write himself off just yet. Probably the column should have been named- "Don't write off Hanif Mohammad: Hanif Mohammad". But I think it's about time!! What say?

in-amnesiac

It was like any other day, only lively.

As he treaded along with an air of contentment, the fire disappeared far on the horizon and orange took over. Dusk descended. So did a blow that blind-sided him. What sent him reeling did lesser harm, he gathered, as his gaze wandered and came to rest on the source - all too familiar and all too close.

He looks out the window, as he recoils from the blow. At every orange and every dusk he waits for another, only hoping that it's not familiar. It'll be alright, they say, even as they throw away the club. A scarred faith tells him otherwise.

Even as he now treads along with an air of disillusionment, "life goes on, yea, la la la life goes on! Ob-li-di! Ob-li-da".

Dubya and the likes

Yesterday when the band took to the stage after the break, the vocalist said that it was second year in a row that the State of the Union coincided with Groundhog day; one involves prognostication of future by a not-so-intelligent creature and the other a rodent.

So there's another American who joins in humiliating the current leadership while Bush rules in the second term. Leadership is about the individual, one would think, and wonder how lack of charisma could get you the most coveted post in the world. I think charisma alone is enough to get you to the top but it's scarcity is not enough to keep you. Obviously, support from the senior was a factor for Bush's win but un-lively opposition was more of the reason for his win the first time and the second.

But he hasn't done anything that any other republican leader wouldn't do. So Americans should find solace in the fact that had they chosen a more eligible leader, who was republican, he would still ignore green house gas emissions, be pro-life and go to wars.

The good thing about American politics is that it carries a certain predictibility corresponding to the democrat/republican leadership, regardless of the leader himself. The bad part is it's ingrained too much to be not stubborn at times.